


'tis better...

by Adara_Rose



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Gen, M/M, Pining, Romance, Unrequited Love, Wishful Thinking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-20
Updated: 2014-04-20
Packaged: 2018-01-20 04:25:16
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 509
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1496572
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Adara_Rose/pseuds/Adara_Rose
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>They say, 'tis better to have loved and lost then never to have loved at all. 'They' are wrong.</p>
            </blockquote>





	'tis better...

' _tis better to have loved and lost then never to have loved at all._ __  
  


He looked at the words. They were simple words, and apart they didn't mean much, but put together in that one phrase, it was a great cosmic joke. Whoever had come up with it had obviously never been in love. Never felt the gut-wrenching pain, the soul-tearing anguish, never wept the devastating tears.

They had never buried their face in their pillow in a desperate attempt to silence the sobs that forced their way past chafed lips tasting of salt, never wondered what would be the easier way out, the blade or the bottle.

' _tis better to have loved and lost then never to have loved at all._

But he hadn't lost, had he? You can't lose what you've never had in the first place. You can't lose someone's love when they gave it to someone else from the start, but never gave it to you.

And therein lay the painful truth. He hadn't lost, because he had never had love. And since he had never had love, he shouldn't be hurting. His eyes shouldn't be blurring as he re-read that one line.

' _tis better to have loved and lost then never to have loved at all._

He'd take the other option any day. Then he wouldn't have to feel the pain. Wouldn't have to se him…  _them…_  together. See  _his_  crooked half-smile, that special smile, directed at  _her._  She didn't care, anyway. She only had eyes for Perfect Potter, or the Perfect Prat, as  _he_  had started saying. He smiled slightly at the thought, although the smile looked more like a grimace.

' _tis better to have loved and lost then never to have loved at all._

Maybe it was true. Maybe you weren't really alive, until you loved. Reciprocated or not. Anguished or joyful, maybe love was a gift anyway. He had to believe that, or he'd throw himself from the Astronomy Tower.  _Besides_ , he thought,  _we're friends. We're best friends. That's enough. It has to be._

' _tis better to have loved and lost then never to have loved at all._

But still…he laid his arms down over the book and gazed blankly ahead. All he had ever wanted, all his dreams and all his hopes, rested in a pair of dark eyes. Dark eyes that looked, but didn't see. Would never see, for they were blinded by a radiant light that he wanted nothing but to tarnish. To destroy. To pour water over until the embers were helplessly drowned and never again to be lit. And then to hold  _him_  as he wept over the ashes, for he knew that he'd weep.

Just like he wept in the dark of the night, when no one heard. In the darkness, when no one cared.

' _tis better to have loved and lost then never to have loved at all._

Lucius Malfoy laid his head down on his arms and cried.

' _tis better to have loved and lost then never to have loved at all._


End file.
